Sparrow Widows Support: Funeral Planning

Life will never be the same again

When the Corona virus pandemic hit South Africa in March 2020, we had less than 10 days to prepare for Lockdown. The shock, disbelief and fear were overwhelming. Suddenly, we were faced with a situation that would change our lives forever. Life will never be the same again. The loss of one’s spouse has a similar effect. Shock from the trauma, disbelief that he is gone and fear for the future are overwhelmingly difficult to confront. You do not need to make any long-term changes yet. Take one day at a time. Handle each day according to what that day presents. One task at a time. If a task or challenge is too overwhelming, set it aside for another day, Slowly, you will begin to work out a new routine, sometimes without even realizing it.

Parable:

The day my husband passed away, was a public (bank) holiday. Early the following morning, my son and I went to the funeral home to begin the planning for the funeral. As we sat in the waiting room, questions began to fill my mind. “What am I doing here?”, “Why do I have to do this?”, “How am I supposed to plan a funeral for my Belovéd?” The undertaker was a wonderfully, kind gentleman. We were offered a cup of tea and sat down to discuss the way ahead. He listened carefully as I explained the ideas that my now late husband and I had discussed. He offered some practical suggestions and was a real strength to us.

Pebble: Here are a few things that I wish I had known:

* It is going to be a long and tiring day. You will need the energy provided by a healthy breakfast. Make sure you eat!

* Take along all relevant paperwork. Identity document, Notice of Death etc. Read the Notice of Death carefully to make sure the information is correct. My late husband’s birth date was written is as his date of death!!!!

*If the funeral home / undertaker offers you a cup of tea during this planning meeting, accept!

*we will cover burial vs cremation in another post.

Scripture:

The Burial of Jesus: Now there was a good and righteous man named Joseph. He was a member of the Jewish high council, but he had not agreed with the decision and actions of the other religious leaders. He was from the town of Arimathea in Judea, and he was waiting for the Kingdom of God to come. He went to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body. Then he took the body down from the cross and wrapped it in a long sheet of linen cloth and laid it in a new tomb that had been carved out of rock. This was done late on Friday afternoon, the day of preparation, as the Sabbath was about to begin. As his body was taken away, the women from Galilee followed and saw the tomb where his body was placed. (Luke 23)

Prayer:

Father, Your Word says that if anyone lacks wisdom, let Him ask of You and you will answer. Lord, I need wisdom today as I need to make big decisions and I don’t even know where to start. Please let me know the comfort of the Holy Spirit today.

Starting a Widows Support Group.

When one begins the journey on the street called Widowhood, one finds it difficult to pick up passengers to travel with you. Soon one has a need to refuel. But where does one find a filling station. Family, friends, colleagues and even church members, cannot be expected to understand. They try. They want to support you, but how can they understand your inmost thoughts, when you are struggling to understand them yourself. There are many other widows who find themselves in the same situation. And this is why a support group is a great idea. Location and Age Group It is best to seek out widows who live in the same suburb as yourself. This makes getting together so much easier. If there is a community FaceBook or Whatsapp group covering your suburb, that is a good place to start. Local churches should also be able to provide some names. Decide on an age group. Over 60s, retired ladies, 50+, 40+, young ladies etc. First Get-Together Arrange a morning tea, or finger lunch. Your home could be suitable or choose a cozy place with no disturbances. A maximum of six ladies is a good number to start with. Serve tea and eats then sit down to chat in the group. Starting with yourself, allow each lady to give her name and some basic information about herself. Ask how long she has been a widow. Share your vision for the support group. As each lady to write down their full names, birth dates and cellphone numbers. Ask for one lady to hold then next meeting at her home. Second Get-Together Hostess to serve eats and refreshments. You will remain as Chairlady. This week’s discussion can handle topics like challenges faced in the past month, hobbies, birthplace etc. Anything of interest. Put each lady’s name in a “hat”. Let each one draw a name. Over the next month, she will be responsible to check up on that lady once a week, and take her out for a coffee date, before the next monthly meeting. This way, each lady will be cared for and will care for another, resulting in weekly contact with 2 other ladies. Do this every month so that the ladies get to know each other. Third Get-Together This is the ideal opportunity to go on an outing. Choose a coffee shop, restaurant of similar location where you can enjoy a light meal and are able to chat. Share transport and have each passenger contribute to petrol. Once again let the ladies draw a name to care for and be cared by during the following month. They must not draw the same name as previously. Continue with this for the first 6 months. It gives them the chance to get to know everyone and develop friendships. Some will become bosom buddies, others just general friends. Now they have at least 5 new friends who understand. Growth in Numbers Other widows will probably hear about your group. It’s best to remain with the first group of 6 or less for the first 3 months. Thereafter, others may be included but try not to reach more than 12 ladies in a group. Other Activities Picnics Walk on the beach Pottery class Theatre / Movie night Day Trips

Sparrow Widows Support

Life will never be the same again

Funeral Planning

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