Shock and Denial

Parable: 

My husband died of cancer, exactly 3 months after diagnosis. We waited with his body until the undertaker arrived. I walked away from the hospital with a feeling of numbed disbelief. Yet, only after all the visitors had left later that evening, did I realise that he would not be coming back. My loss suddenly felt impossible to accept. I was overwhelmed by emotion. He was released from all pain and indignity the cancer had caused him. However, the realisation that I was now alone, was a great shock. 

This shock or disbelief is understood as the numbness often associated with initially receiving the news of the death of a loved one. Denial is the considered to be the first stage grief. Although we do not realise it at the time, it helps us to survive the loss. Denial helps us to spread out our feelings of grief, instead of facing all the emotions at once. In the numbness, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming and you may even feel that your life makes no sense anymore. You could have many questions like How can I go on? Why should I go on? Could I have prevented this?. By asking yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. As you become stronger, denial will begin to fade. 

Pebble: 

Find ways to simply get through each day. 

Begin each day with a good breakfast. Take your time preparing and enjoying it.

An outing with a friend is always a good idea. 

Tackle the laundry basket, repack your pantry cupboard. 

Keeping busy makes life feel somewhat worthwhile. 

Scripture: 

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud [agonized] voice, “ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?” That is, “MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?” Matthew 27 v 46 (amplified version) 

Prayer: 

Father God, I cannot believe what has happened. Losing my Belovéd Has torn a hole into my heart. I feel abandoned. Please give me the strength to accept my own questions.
Please be my Comfort and Guide.