Sparrow Widows Support: Normal, what is normal now?

Life will never be the same again

When the Corona virus pandemic hit South Africa in March 2020, we had less than 10 days to prepare for Lockdown. The shock, disbelief and fear were overwhelming. Suddenly, we were faced with a situation that would change our lives forever. Life will never be the same again. The loss of one’s spouse has a similar effect. Shock from the trauma, disbelief that he is gone and fear for the future are overwhelmingly difficult to confront. You do not need to make any long-term changes yet. Take one day at a time. Handle each day according to what that day presents. One task at a time. If a task or challenge is too overwhelming, set it aside for another day, Slowly, you will begin to work out a new routine, sometimes without even realizing it.

Parable:

A few weeks after my husband died, my daughter and I went to visit friends in another town. I had recently discovered that other friends from my hometown, whom I had last seen in my youth, had retired here. I made contact with this couple and arranged to meet for dinner. They had lost their only son to a heart attack, some years before and knew what grief did to one. He asked me: “When do you think things will get back to normal?”. What a silly question, I thought. How am I supposed to answer? I replied: “What is normal?”. He said that was the answer he was hoping I would give as nothing would ever be the same normal anymore. He went on to encourage me to begin looking for my own new normal.

When the pandemic hit the world in 2020, the words “new normal” became part of everyone’s vocabulary!. We were all challenged to adapt to survive through the virus. The “new normal” after the loss of a loved-one is similar but very different. Life will never be the same again but discovering one’s new normal alone, is not easy.

Pebble:

A collage is a wonderful way to sort out one’s thoughts about the future.

You will need: A poster board; old magazines; glue stick; scissors; felt tip pen

*Divide the board into 8 blocks. Add the following headings to the blocks.

*Career/Retirement; Health; Money; Family; Friends; Leisure/Vacation; Home Environment; Personal Growth.

*Find pictures which represent your thoughts and ideas for each heading. Paste the relevant pictures in the blocks.

*Keep the poster as a reminder in the days and months ahead.

Scripture:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Prayer:

Father God, thank You that You have a purpose for my life. Please guide me as I dream about and plan my future. Amen.

Starting a Widows Support Group.

When one begins the journey on the street called Widowhood, one finds it difficult to pick up passengers to travel with you. Soon one has a need to refuel. But where does one find a filling station. Family, friends, colleagues and even church members, cannot be expected to understand. They try. They want to support you, but how can they understand your inmost thoughts, when you are struggling to understand them yourself. There are many other widows who find themselves in the same situation. And this is why a support group is a great idea. Location and Age Group It is best to seek out widows who live in the same suburb as yourself. This makes getting together so much easier. If there is a community FaceBook or Whatsapp group covering your suburb, that is a good place to start. Local churches should also be able to provide some names. Decide on an age group. Over 60s, retired ladies, 50+, 40+, young ladies etc. First Get-Together Arrange a morning tea, or finger lunch. Your home could be suitable or choose a cozy place with no disturbances. A maximum of six ladies is a good number to start with. Serve tea and eats then sit down to chat in the group. Starting with yourself, allow each lady to give her name and some basic information about herself. Ask how long she has been a widow. Share your vision for the support group. As each lady to write down their full names, birth dates and cellphone numbers. Ask for one lady to hold then next meeting at her home. Second Get-Together Hostess to serve eats and refreshments. You will remain as Chairlady. This week’s discussion can handle topics like challenges faced in the past month, hobbies, birthplace etc. Anything of interest. Put each lady’s name in a “hat”. Let each one draw a name. Over the next month, she will be responsible to check up on that lady once a week, and take her out for a coffee date, before the next monthly meeting. This way, each lady will be cared for and will care for another, resulting in weekly contact with 2 other ladies. Do this every month so that the ladies get to know each other. Third Get-Together This is the ideal opportunity to go on an outing. Choose a coffee shop, restaurant of similar location where you can enjoy a light meal and are able to chat. Share transport and have each passenger contribute to petrol. Once again let the ladies draw a name to care for and be cared by during the following month. They must not draw the same name as previously. Continue with this for the first 6 months. It gives them the chance to get to know everyone and develop friendships. Some will become bosom buddies, others just general friends. Now they have at least 5 new friends who understand. Growth in Numbers Other widows will probably hear about your group. It’s best to remain with the first group of 6 or less for the first 3 months. Thereafter, others may be included but try not to reach more than 12 ladies in a group. Other Activities Picnics Walk on the beach Pottery class Theatre / Movie night Day Trips

Sparrow Widows Support

Life will never be the same again

Normal, what is normal now?

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